What Is A Divorce Coach And Do I Need One?

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Divorce, by definition, is an isolating experience. This was supposed to be your life partner. The person you are closest to. Who you leaned on the most.

Now you are furious with each other. Losing/disconnecting from friends is part of the divorce game.

The legal system itself is the last straw because it takes a highly emotional experience and reduces it down to a division of assets and parenting time.

Oddly, most folks don’t think they need support in this process beyond an attorney, and maybe their therapist. What if you could hire someone who not only intimately understands the divorce process but also could equip you with the tools and support that you need to make your divorce less emotionally and financially expensive? 

divorce coach

My Divorce Experience

I was never going to get divorced. As a coach, I watched the impact of a messy divorce on myself and my brother and I was never going to do that to my kids. Ten years later, I filed for divorce.

I was determined it would not be like my parent’s divorce. Somehow, I found myself having the same feelings and even having the same fights. I was fortunate enough to meet a divorce coach. My coach talked to me almost daily at first.

They helped me to process my sense of betrayal, my anger, and blame. They talked me out of acting on those feelings. Instead, they helped me focus on the well-being of my kids. My divorce was mercifully short (a year). Even though that felt like forever, it was short in terms of what most people experience.

As a result, it costs SO much less than other people’s divorce. My divorce coach was worth every penny. Working with them saved me literally hundreds of legal hours and most importantly, hundreds of hours of senseless fights with the mother of my children.

What´s A Divorce Coach, Anyways?

A good divorce coach is no stranger to the process. They understand the experience from the inside. They know what you are feeling and what is driving it. 

In addition to understanding what you are feeling, your divorce coach has the tools needed to manage those feelings so that they don’t sabotage the divorce process.

A well-trained coach can help with communication between the client and the attorney. They help by exploring what kind of parenting situation might really work best.

A Divorce Coach can help the client to understand the process. Can help the client identify what they really want out of the process.

Most importantly, divorce coaches help you keep your eyes on the prize. To be proactive in the divorce rather than reactive. It is being reactive that leads to expensive legal missteps. Being reactive leads to inflated legal costs. Reactivity is what increases the emotional cost to our children as well.

Do I Really Need A Divorce Coach?

Are you in a divorce and feeling frustrated? Angry? Fearful? Are you calling your attorney at several hundred dollars an hour every time you have an intense feeling expecting them to resolve it for you? Maybe you’re afraid that your soon-to-be ex is poisoning your children. Perhaps you’re concerned that they are trying to turn your children against you.

All of my clients have called me for the above reasons and more.

They realized that these are the kinds of problems that their attorney was simply not trained for. Even their therapist was not well suited for these kinds of problems. Why?

  • Because they were not as intimate with the divorce process.
  • They were less future-focused.
  • Because they were simply less available.
  • We are available to our clients via text and email, we’re there to help them through the rough spots as they come up, and most therapists and even attorneys won’t provide that level of support.

Here are some reasons to call a divorce coach:

divorce coach

  • You are afraid and it’s impacting your decision-making ability.
  • You’re concerned about parenting the kids from separate households.
  • You are having trouble imagining the future for yourself. Post-divorce?
  • It’s hard to think clearly and make decisions.
  • The legal process is baffling at times.
  • As hard as you try not to, you find yourself wanting to act vengefully during the divorce.

What Clients Say About Working With a Divorce Coach

Marcus C:

    “I felt like no matter what I said, my wife was always getting the better of me. I thought she and her lawyer were liars just trying to milk me for everything they could get. My lawyer tried to tell me to not get upset, that this is just how the process works. My coach was the only person who could reach me. Not only did he explain the process, but he helped me get to the real problem. It turns out I was so busy trying to get my lawyer to control my wife and her lawyer that I had lost control of the only thing I could really manage- myself”

Mellissa E:

“When he filed for divorce I was shell shocked. That was the day I realized my husband treated me like a child. He made all the decisions, did all the planning, and treated me like I was less than him.  I needed an ally, someone who would treat me like a whole and complete human being. My attorney was too much of an expert to do that. My coach was the first person to say to me that I had all the answers I would ever need and he asked the questions that helped me find out what it is I really want and need

Mindy P:

“He cheated on me and I was going to make him pay. My lawyer said I was being unreasonable but somehow he couldn’t reach me. My coach was the one who helped me see I wasn’t just making Tom pay, but our kids. That it wasn’t Tom’s money we were spending, but our kid’s future.”

Chip M:

“I have always valued coaches. I’ve had a tennis coach in high school and a business coach at work. When my attorney suggested that I hire a divorce coach it just made sense! He explained that he understood the legal side of divorce, but a divorce coach could help me with the emotional challenges of the process. It’s a decision I have never regretted. Rich saved me thousands in legal fees. With his help, I was able to create a parenting plan with the mother of my children. We work better together as co-parents than we ever did as husband and wife.”

How We Can Help You

If you’re thinking about or in the process of getting a divorce you can schedule a FREE discovery call.

We only work with clients we think are a good fit. At the same time, everyone who takes advantage of this call walks away with effective next steps that they believe in.

Most of our clients say their experience with us laid the groundwork for their new, renewed and healthier divorces.

We also have countless podcasts, video blogs, and blogs that can guide you in your process.